


Further on

by sihaiya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, divergence from ch. 82, hints of jeanmarco, major char death warning here, see the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 23:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sihaiya/pseuds/sihaiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean knew it was bound to happen, he saw it in the other's eyes, growing and growing, so he's certain that tonight Eren is going to desert and leave for the outside world. He only hopes to find him in time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Further on

**Author's Note:**

> This is my reaction of denial after chapter 83. In this !verse both Armin and Erwin died at Shiganshina and none of them was injected with the serum, hence the major char death warning.

Shiganshina lights are barely visible from the top of the Wall and even less is Eren's shape sitting on it.

Jean sighs with relief when he finds him, the dread of being too late washing over him for some long moments. He knew it was bound to happen, he saw it in the other's eyes, growing and growing, so by now he knows what to do. For once he knows where he stands and it should be warming, even if the only thing he can feel right now is a heavy melancholy and a sense of fatalistic inevitability.

He sits on the edge of the Wall too, putting between him and the other Eren's huge backpack and then he waits. Not because he expects from Eren to be the first to speak, but suddenly he can't find the words, even if he has rehearsed them again and again during the last weeks.

"It will never end."

Eren's whisper is tinged with resignation and disgust and Jean can't find the heart to contradict him for old times' sake, not when he agrees with it. And how could he not? It's been years and they've just managed their second coup d'etat, deposing Zackley and his foolishness just to replace him with Commander Pixis. Sure, Historia is still on the throne, but in the end nothing has changed and humanity is still caged by walls, no one step forward made.

"I have to see the ocean, for him. Mikasa never truly believed in our dreams, but he did." Eren keeps his tone soft, but even now while he's speaking of Armin that tinge of disgust is still present, even if mingled with a shade of ancient determination. "And then I want to know the truth, the real one."

Jean sighs, his well crafted speech by now gone.

"Sometimes I think about Marco, with all his zeal to serve the king..." He starts, letting his thoughts wander free, letting his tongue say out loud what he only ever mulled between himself. "I wonder what he'd say, I wonder... maybe it's for the best he hasn't seen the shit we had..."

Eren's reaction is feral at that, his eyes firing up with rage, disbelief painting his harsh words. "Are you really saying that Armin is better off death Kirschtein? That Mikasa is too?"

Jean doesn't even flinch, his hand clutching the small bone splinter hidden in his breast pocket for an instant before starting to roam across the air with his tentative words. "Shit man I don't. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say... I had a pregnant speech for this moment you know, like yours during training, when we were younger, but..."

He doesn't even try to finish his rant, he only huffs, disappointed. Eren laughs at it, so swift in his change of mood that unsettles him, at least until he hears the clear fondness in Eren's tone.

"Jean, you're a mess." He chuckles, a small soft smile remaining on his lips even after his gaze turns back to the horizon.

"You say it." Jean replies with a hint of sarcasm, nudging at the backpack still between them. "If I'm a mess what are you? Deserting alone to get lost in the outside world. You suicidal fuck."

"We're not making progress, there's always some shit going on that stops us. We'll never be free."

Eren's words are still charged with anger, his fists clenched in two trembling balls of rage. Jean understands it. He's never been so sure that self safety is not an option anymore, better, he's never been so sure that something is amiss and no one is asking the right questions. It's not like their commanding officers aren't trying, but losing both Commander Erwin and Armin gave the Scouting Legion a hard blow to recover from, and Mikasa's sacrifice to save Eren's life in the last battle with the ape titan only made things worse. Adding to that the need they felt out of guilt to save people from the crazy dictator Zackley had become only derailed the few remaining of them from their original path more and more, leading to this night.

In the end Jean only nods, unable to give voice to his thoughts, letting Eren go ahead with his tirade, well knowing how it'll help him with his burning temper.

"The ocean first, then I'll see and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Jean laughs at it while something warm and soft spreads in his chest. "When have I ever tried?" He asks with amusement, shaking his head in disbelief. "Don't you remember that time in training when Historia was kidnapped? Or the hundreds after?"

Eren gapes at him for a moment, bewildered. "Are you saying you're coming with me?"

Jean could laugh again at the hope reverberating through the other's words, but he doesn't. He doesn't want to shatter what they've built between them along the years, not by mocking Eren's feelings like that.

"I'm saying, you stubborn idiot, that if you're able to wait a couple hours, we're all going to come." He mutters, smiling with scoff at Eren's beaming features. "Well, all consists in me, Commander Hanji, Captain Levi, Connie and Sasha. We will not involve what remains of the new recruits, but we all agree that it's time to change the way we're doing things, from now on the Scouting Legion responds to no one but itself."

Jean will count this moment as his biggest achievement. Having rendered Eren speechless tastes like victory and feels glorious.

"You can thank us later. Or maybe helping us to finish packing." He adds in the silence surrounding them, as to remark it, a little smug smirk creasing his lips.

"Why are you doing it? I mean _you_. Why aren't you running towards the easy road?" Eren's tone is uncertain and in his eyes the bafflement is clear.

Jean shrugs, a soft laugh finding the way out of him while his hand reaches again for his breast pocket. "Marco was my first in almost everything, my first real friend, the first one who believed in me, my first kiss..." He starts, his gaze fixed on the night, not even fully aware of what he confessed, too much lost in memories to really care. "What I mean is that I know how it feels losing someone you cared for, how's living with the need to do something to honor their memories. That's why I'm doing it."

Silence stretches again between them, a more charged and heavy one that prompts Jean to fill it with more words while he stands up to go back to the barracks.

"We're losing time Jaeger, let's go."

It's the absence of Eren's footsteps behind him that prompts him to stop just in time to hear the other's whispered question.

"What this makes us?"

Jean stands still, silent, before heading back, a hand stretched in the other's direction. "Survivors. Friends. Whatever." He mutters with faint hostility while helping Eren to rise up, and if he lingers for a moment too long before letting go of his hand, he's sure none of them will bring it up any time soon. "You really need a label for it?"

Eren huffs with amusement and Jean is quite sure he's not the only one who's dragging the moment, 'cause his hand is still in Eren's even if he's already standing and this is not how it's supposed to go between friends. Or is it?

He rushes to free himself from the contact, trying to wash away his embarrassment by nudging the other with a playful shove, his ruffled remark soon drowned in Eren's soft chuckle.

"We're losing nighttime, let's go before the Captain kicks both our asses."


End file.
